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*sigh*...i'm confused...shamini is nice once u get to noe her.but u won't noe tt she actually has many family probs.well,hope everything will be alright.she has faced more discrimination than me and stuff but yet she's so...i dunno...she's cheerful and trusts the Lord so much..*sigh*..i dunno lah...someone punch me in the face

and U!u noe i'm moody these days.and i'm not sayin u can't be lovesick or wadeva but dun keep quiet!i mean..u make it seem like i'm makin u so sad..and U urself said u wanted to be more independant.not to always go find ppl when ur sad,but now leh?i say onli then wanna leave.i mean..i'm sorri i blasted at u these few days and neglected u but its not like i'm going away from u forever rite?!wadeva lah..i'm so confused now..and wad..u say wanna help wanna help.but u keep quiet and bla.i juz wan u to tell me jokes..talk to me.u noe i dun like to talk bout my probs.make me forget bout it.*sigh*wanna be millionare??wad the..hai~wadeva lah..i dunno wanna control u.."I GOT NO FREEDOM"...-.-'


came home feelin rather sad.*sigh*stop discriminatin me lah u ppl!!i'm deaf,i'm a nerd,i'm boring..i tok funny,walk funny,look funny...WADEVA!!i alredi noe i'm all these.so can u guys juz shut up and accept the fact i'm not perfect..i'm not popular!!u think u guys so gd izziT?oh wait..i 4got.u have high egos!..wow...gd for u.AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i'm invisible!!!!GO AWAY!!!!IF U CAN'T ACCEPT THEN STOP DISCRMINATIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!I'M SICK AND TIRED OF TREATED LIKE AN INVISIBLE FOOL.U GUYS ONLI COME TO ME WHEN U GOT PROB.OTHER THEN TT...I'M BASICALLY THE ONE ALWAYS ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!WAD THE HELL MAN!!!!!!!!oh and mrs cumar was tokin bout how we shld carry ourselves on the blogs.mrs cumar..this is for u:this is a blog for OUR opinions..of OUR life.i dun think u have the RIGHT to even tell us wad to write or wad not to on OUR blog.even if its not pleasin..i'm sorri..

tt's wad i thought at first..after going to bible study.i felt so enlighten.walkin past park mall.pictures of the blue light place flashes across my mind.*sigh*xr's mother called.was raining.saw wen hui and christabelle at hlm.but yet..i feel so down again...i dunno...i'm veh confused...i'm veh lost...


xr is not assumin.look,i kanna before and i raised this subject to her.some particular some1 thought i was smsin but i was actually depressed.and when i'm depressed i write poems.but since in tt place there was no space for me to take out my pen and paper,i used my hp as my 'notepad'.and my so called gd frenz didn't wanna disturb me for fear i would scold them.hah!wad a joke.and there were some frenz who felt realli left out.no1 realli tok to them.so they were using their hp.dunno whether smsin or playin game but they were on their hp the whole time.xr is not assumin.it happened before and it might happen again.xr uses wad happens ard the cg and frenz as an example to wad most of us are doin.she is of coz not pointin our to any1 in particular.but if u see it as tt then i'm sorri.ppl do have diff views and opinoins of the same/diff thing.i have no qualms bout it.

and look ard.look at urself.and i'm sorri if i can't do anything bout it.at least i noe i did smth.aren't u suppose to encourage and support each other?dun tell me crap like "she is not worth all these" and bla stuff.God creates a person for many reasons.i guess.but one of the reasons He did so was to make tt one person impact the ppl ard her/him and to also impact the world greatly in one way or another.u girls have made an impact in each other's life.frm wad i noe,xr helped u when u were down.now,instead of rubbin salt into the wound,why not juz find out frm her wad is happenin to her.i dunno,maybe u have alredi done tt.but help each other out.no matter wad.frenz strengthen and teaches u valueable lessons.hold on to these things coz u may neva noe when tt same prob might pop up again.i'm not sayin "pauline,u are at fault!!" or "xr,dun anyhow tok rot lah!" or stuff lidat.i'm juz tryin to say tt instead of arguin and stuff,juz tell each other wad is happenin.everybody face many probs in their life and God will pull them thru.but i think for this,God wants u to settle it by urself.i dunno..i'm crappin..^_^"..


inferiorty sets in.i have no confidence wadsoeva tt i'll pass my tests tml.its maths and chem.the subs which i am weak in.*sigh*i could have pass my maths test if not for my careless mistakes.and now i have to take a freakin RE-TEST.and the highest will onli be 15/30..which is..IF u get full marks.dumb ass lor.i cant take the pressure.maybe coz i'm always slackin but..wah lao..some more everytime get scolded by my father.*sigh*..yah yah..i'm condemnin the whole world.happy now?u teachers juz ASSUME tt since onli like wad..ONE pupil said foul language and bla stuff..u judge us all.and u still have the guts to say WE condemn YOU.oh plz..wad bout u guys.i dun wanna be wad or anything but think bout it lah.oh my..i 4got..i dun even NOE whether u NOE my blog.oOo lala.

ARGH!!!!!i'm sick of the probs tt are ard me.and i'm dull.its confirm.no wonder my classmates think i'm boring,nerdish.wow..*sigh*


Ashl3y: I also agree with brother Daniel , n154. This problem of unity is identified. What can we do about it now?? We should do some actions about it.. Like NOT alwaYs Mixing around only with the same company of cg members, but keep changing companions & keep a look out for new friends, Left out of any conversation or "seems to be sending SMSes".. hey!! are u sure he/she is Smsing somebodY.. or is he/she's just pretending that they are occupied, just not wanting to feel awkward Being Left Out??? Think abt it , shan't we??

i feel like a small sister,watchin my older sis stand up for me..hMmZ..oh and mr thomson,if ur readin this..aren't u condemnin us too?not all the bloggers frm our sch is bad.


nkf is realli cool.both the acts and how sgporens tear themselves apart from $$ to give to charity.church was realli cool today.saw my auntie at jp.met xinyi,xr and weikang(ah boi arR,jian tou fa liao hor?haha..bu yao pai seh lah.)at hlm.nkf realli touchin.they go thru so much pain and stuff.so ppl,dun take ur life for granted.at any moment,u can be faced wif a difficulty.whether u can solve it or not,it all depends.frenz,life is unpredictable.treasure the moments u have and realli find the purpose in life.with God's help,i'm sure the impossible will turn to become the possible.so dun give up.Jesus didn't,would u? He gave His life for us.so tt whoeva belives in him may have eternal life.but juz believin alone won't help for faith wifout works is dead.work and strive hard and remember, God is watchin over u,24/7.

pray to him when u are in need and seek guidance from him.i know i have and he has helped me countless times.and countless times too he had neva answered me.but truly God is a good God and will nv forsake us.and like wad sis yp usually say "seek first the kingdom of God and the rest shall be added onto u".so guys,if u are in a difficult situation and thinkin tt openin the back door is gd.then think bout it.troubles are meant to strengthen u.God would nv let u be dishearten.being a christian is nv easy.but u'll noe tt all the hard work is worth it as u reap wad u sow.God will NEVER leave u.would U leave him?



juz read daniel's email not long ago.wad he say is realli true.guys,dun stick to ur own cliques but rather,move out and get to know the frenz.=Xx...i think i'll juz keep quiet lah.dunno wad to really say.anyway,i guess i'll fail my art exam.i dunno.my work sux man..*sigh*but somehow,i have this feelin tt i'll still pass,wif flying colours but i dunno..i dun usually trust my feelins.and guys,plz pray for our fellow cg members?


i'm utterly speechless.there's a mix of emotions in me.i'm tired yet alive.i'm lost yet i'm found.i dunno.
and i was sitting on a cockroach yesterday. :| 3rd time man..i feel like quiting sch.it kinda builds up on pressure and stuff.maybe its coz i'm a slacker.play first then study.well,maybe tt's it.tt's me. :\ kim is comin for cgm!yay!zhikai and marcus dunno whether can come or not .*sigh*and i bet today cumar will throw a BIG fuss if i say i 4got to bring my clay marble summary.and my dNt..i'm so dead.i'm totally clueless man.i'm bloggin early in the morning so ya..u get the idea...shall blog later..IF i have the time.


i juz did smth wrong.so wrong....blood oozing out.i dropped it.regret filled me.i've hurt Christ,big time.*sigh*..i'm sorry..i'm sorry.i was rash.i was thinkin clear enough.forgive me......*sigh*i'm worried bout my work.can i cope?can i not?tml got 2.4km run.Lord, strengthen me.*sigh*i regret...i regret.call me foolish,look down on me.i'm at fault.*sigh*gone..its all gone..


today was cool.the drama,though i can't say the same for the bbq.some were like,bored out of their wits.some went swimming,some played bball and monkey.some even tried to start the fire which in the end took almost half our afternn to be 'blasted'.hMmZ.weisheng was cold to me,as usual.ah i dunno lah..wasn't even close to him in the first place.zhikai looked so much more matured man.haha.i'm serious.he's grown taller and haha..some1 likes him.. :D marcus looked the same except for his hair and height.adam arR..didn't see him today.danG.kim was cool.social butterfly.haha.oh oh..on the way home,she and eugene were havin a war/fight.kinda scary man.eugene!!everytime make me fall haR?!why arR!?!..haha..kiddin.anyway,during the bbq,made frenz with daniel,sam's fren

he's kinda cool lah.but kinda crazy.haha.shake hand oso shake until so hard,later if dislocated i'm gonna kill u!(haha,he's not gonna look here,he doesn't even noe my email,much less..me..haha!!)well,techno siao guy..haha.4got to get his number.danG lah.nvm lah..at least got daniel POON to help out.wahaha..=Xx.well,there's alot of disputes in some areas.hope u guys will solve it and ____,keep pressin on and trust God to pull u through.ur realli one strong guy.keep on keepin on! :D today was relatively gd. :)


its in the morning now.gonna leave the hse soon for the easter service at indoor stadium.shamini couldn't come coz she's sick.concidence?always when i ask her she got smth 'bad' happen to her..hMmZ..nvm lah.amazing thing last nite was tt i prayed veh strongly..in the bathroom!i'm serious.i dunno lah..i mean..i felt the urgency to reach out to the unsaved and backslidders.i even prayed for healing to come upon shamini. :D but i knowin her,even if she is alright,she won't come. :\ well,hope nick will be ok.lately see him oso like..sad sad lah.dunno how to say.and i returned the book!!gee..its the most chimified book i have read but yet the most interesting.haha.its realli a cool book. the bvgalri smth smth..i dunno!!die.. :| anyway,went to return the book yesterday and well,i was walkin towards the escalator when -pLoP-..and its rite on my..oh nvm.its somebody's saliva!! sticky sticky.urk! juz hope tt it was frm a baby's mouth. haha.

i'm excited.haha.and i still haven't finished my homework.i'm done for.cumar is so gonna cut open my head and bash my brain.yes..i noe.."eEe!!"..well,i am a disgustin ger.wahaha.read and saw too many murder 'scenes' alredi. :D well,i hope pelyn is ok now and won't bear grudges against deb,pauline and xr..(well,even me after wad i have done..)pelyn,try to see things thru other ppl's perspective and not wad u can see alone.we all see diff things even if its the same 'object'.example:
a pen
"a gateway to a diff place of diff opportunities and of a diff world"--->author
"so i can do my homework wif lor!"---->student
"its juz a pen,wif ink?"---->erm..someone?haha
"erm,i guess its like,a pen,and like u can write wif it and like...."---->bimbo(yes,i'm evil)
"a creative invention,simple and useful"--->inventer
wahaha..so many more i can think of...anyway,'in-point'..u see the world pushin all the blame to u and u 'suffering' but wad does the rest see?the most important factor:wad does God sees?its no use wastin time on this...i guess..

for me,if i'm angry at a person,it can't be longer than a day.i can't be angry and hold grudges against ppl,its in me and its also wad God wants us to do.let go..and dun bear grudges.if u think xr and pauline are at fault,pray for them and bless them.haiya..everyone pray for each other k? :D


i'm enlightened.after listenin to this christian song and readin some article on christianity.guys..love..maybe its nth more to me?i dunno.hurt time and time again.but i noe Jesus is all i eva need. :D


yes,i'm like this.accept it.and this is MY blog.MY views.My opinions.My world.if u can't accept it then i suggest u stop critisizing bout it.coz no1 is perfect.if ur so perfect then why am i here typin out this stupid 'lecture'?i can hardly control my temper these days.dun make me get angry at u..u won't noe how evil i can get.u can always ask xr if u dun believe.she's seen tt side of me.

and next time if i remain quiet.dun blame me.wad i say takes no effect until someone else says it.i wanna help,but its of no use.and i'm startin to doubt whether any1 takes me seriously


JuZ cNT think tt xiu rong is a back stabber onli noes how to think 4 others when she doesn't think bout herself in the first place lorrrzz!!!so PISSED OFF WITH HER ATTITUDE SHE IS SHOWING ME!!thanks alot PAULINE i m always in the FAULT i noe it n i won noe how to CHANGE if u dun tell me why u r not happy with me..!

if ppl care less bout themselves and more bout other ppl,u call them a backstabber?oh yah,like how?they backstab themselves?look,i noe i have no rite in sayin this but i realli wanna get it off.i dun even think U will even LOOK at my blog..u are always are fault arR..wah.always leh.so li hai.then wad bout JESUS?!u tell me.every second tt passes by,there will be at least one person in the world who blames Him."why did u make me suffer like this?i've neva done anything wrong!".."i hate u,u coz me to lose everything.so now ur happy?!" etc etc...pelyn,it doesn't matter.Gd Friday is tml and easter is on sunday.look...juz accept things as it is.

wahaha!!today the "Fabric of the Nation" is finally open to everyone!haha.nice leh.i wanna go..anyway,i oso wanna go for the Lord of the Rings triology at science center!!man..its cool leh.the effects and stuff.man...can learn so much.hMmZ..today has NAPFA.wah man..i lackin arR..but still healthy.heng. :D all i need to pass is my 2.4km run and i get GOLD.FINALLY after so many erm..years?haha.since p5 then onli get bronze coz my run always veh..erm..bad.haha.cumar was awesomely boring today. :\ and dez fell down and hurt her leg.oh yah,cumar gave out chocolate eggs today.its the same as the ones given out in MRL. :| well,today's chapel was boring?there was alot of feedback and ppl were complaining.if they think its so easy,then do it urself lah.complain so much.and weilan,vivan and eileen were so damn IRRITATIN!!..i mean..they were yakkin away almost..the whole of the time spent at the hall.it was realli hard to hear the lady tell her 'true life' story.and for my chinese test,i think i'm gonna fail.-.-' i mae alot of careless mistakes and forgot alot of words.but in the end liyun,me and wei yun ask chang`e for the ans.haha.the chinese teacher so toot leh.dunno wad's happenin.but she oso veh funny.haha.=Xx

well,i'm kinda tired now.juz got home after NAPFA.so i'm juz gonna chill out.peace out.


today's chapel service was realli cool.all the instruments and stuff.singin BETTA songs.haha.to me..God's presence was realli there,touching ppls hearts.cca today was er..stupid.haha.

anyway.i noe i have no say in this or wadsoeva but i juz wanna say wad is on my mind.why can't u guys juz forget bout this whole matter?u gonna let this small thing ruined ur 'life'?yes,"who cares how she feels about me"..but how do u think God feels?he wants u to be more like Jesus.yes,u are created like this.but we are all imperfect and we can always improve on ourselves.i dunno lah..but look,its not worth it.and heck care bout those meaningless crap.and as i see,i dunno,i dun see pauline self-pitying.plz lah ppl,change ur view of her.dun let her past image remain in ur head.give pauline a chance.i gave a chance for xr to prove to me,the world and herself tt she can be betta.and she did.yes,she's imperfect but i noe she made an effort.ppl still see her as a ***** and bla stuff.but i guess,as long as God sees u and sees wad you've done,tt's the 'bez thing'.

u do wad u think is rite..hMmZ.have u eva asked urself,izzit rite in the eyes of God?its not all juz bout UR opinions and views.there is still God's.i heard from 'both sides' and u guys say the opposite of each other.look,juz shake hands,BOTH SIDES say ur sorry and be frenz again.its realli not worth it.our life is a test.God is our judge/teacher and marks it,giving us marks for each 'section'.this is another 'section' of ur life,whether u gain marks or lose some,it all depends on wad u do.think over bout it.i noe i might be talkin crap and stuff,u may choose not to even read on but i still think u guys shld juz forgive and forget.like i said,its not worth it.
"Do not repay evil with evil..."(taken from the bible,forgot which book.haha..=Xx)
i noe its not relavent to wad i had said but i juz feel like i shld type it out.juz..let go k ppl?


wad's happenin to the cg..to the ppl?deb,pauline,pelyn and xr quarelling over some shit..nick..i dunno wad the hell happened to him..yvonne peh and evelyn are coming back.which is a gd thing..i dunno lah.u ppl..esp PELYN,stop..i dunno..the cg needs unity.and if u guys dun stop this misunderstandin between u all..then it can affect the WHOLE cg.i'm serious.xr said jowell was influencing pelyn..which i think is true.but i won't stick my butt into this..i guess.guys..if these could break up ur frenship,then its not worth it.and Jesus died on the cross for us.he took away our sins so tt we can be sin-less.(actually i'm gettin nowhere coz i dunno wad the hell i'm even talking about)


u always makin things betta?look,i have done so many things to get ur ass out of trouble,sacrificed my body countless times but NO.its always u makin things betta and me juz relaxing.ok fine,i admit but i did some things too.i did some things to make it go betta.i had to waste my time,my money,my energy juz to go all the way there to cheer u up,to make things betta for each other.excuses?!fine lah.i make excuses.i told u time and time again.i'm tellin the truth but u see it as an excuse.public a________?u think i dun wan izzit?but wad if i see some c____ m______ there?look,i'm not makin excuses.i wan things to get better but u tell me how?i'm faced wif so much 'publicity'.yes,sometimes we both are at fault but so...u noe it urself tt in the end,somehow,it'll be my fault.

change my attitude,my mentality.i noe i noe..i'm tryin!!ur not seeing how hard i'm trying!!nobody except for God!and i dun wan u to discriminate the one i love.if u can't handle the fact tt he is my first priority then i suggest u find somebody else.yes,i will be in pain.but i noe God will pull me thru it!i told u countless times how slow and dumb i can be.u said u could handle it.u'll support me...but...no....hai~


can't exactly remember wad happened yesterday.but oh yea..i juz got my hair cut.i like the fringe but i can't say the same for the length of my hair coz i look like some boi.not those butch or bung type.i dunno.juz..boi..haha.and the speck of dust guy-can't remember his name-he is somewhat strange.he can make those -_-' but i can't do my -.-' its weird.i mean,he thinks when i do tt i'm unhappy or smth.shucks man.nvm..muz control anger or wadeva feelin tt i am suppose to overcome.say i'm weird.i dunno.didn't go for prayer meetin today.i didn't noe i had to stay back till like..5?!?i thought i onli had to print out some stuff for ms ferng and TADA,tt's all.but NO.gosh..i miss out the 'fun' at prayer meetin.oh well..and i saw sod[speck of dust] online a few mins ago.

can onli wish da best 4 u says:
k nothin else 2 tok already buh bie

uh huh..u could talk a whole load of things wif yvonne but me?ah..nvm.i noe i'm not gd at socializing.oh,i saw mdm lum's 'filial' son today.he was driving this oh so majorly huge it could fit 2 whole families inside,including a dog car.inside the car there was this realli adorable westland white terrier!!wahaha..cute man.i wan a dog! :D and i'm gettin more and more blur these days.*sigh*i dun even think i can get 10th in class wif Liu Chang and gen ard.hai~oh well,muz work hard..if not my father and cousin will come and kidnap me.and u might juz see me in "Missing".bwhaha.i'm talkin crap..
me talking crap = hungry
:D yes yes,i noe..i'm weird.i can't help it.this is me.oh oh..yesterday the sec 3s went for alpha camp.seems kinda fun but i dunno...and i saw this big grp of girls doing in-line skating in the sch..

seems fun and i was makin the sound effects for the instructor tt was skatin ard.wahaha.fun..and i realli wonder...have u seen those shows tt the kids help their father find a new special someone coz his wife/their mother died a long time ago and bla bla bla?in the end he found another 'perfect' girl?i dunno..i juz find it..hMmZ..God will love us forever no matter wad.but guys..they say they'll love u forever/eternity/until the end of time but a few months later,u guys break up.sometimes maybe for stupid misunderstandings.maybe some girls are like tt but hey,this proves my point.God is forever and his love is never ending. :D haha..dunno why i am writing this.

*sigh*...i'm confused...shamini is nice once u get to noe her.but u won't noe tt she actually has many family probs.well,hope everything will be alright.she has faced more discrimination than me and stuff but yet she's so...i dunno...she's cheerful and trusts the Lord so much..*sigh*..i dunno lah...someone punch me in the face

and U!u noe i'm moody these days.and i'm not sayin u can't be lovesick or wadeva but dun keep quiet!i mean..u make it seem like i'm makin u so sad..and U urself said u wanted to be more independant.not to always go find ppl when ur sad,but now leh?i say onli then wanna leave.i mean..i'm sorri i blasted at u these few days and neglected u but its not like i'm going away from u forever rite?!wadeva lah..i'm so confused now..and wad..u say wanna help wanna help.but u keep quiet and bla.i juz wan u to tell me jokes..talk to me.u noe i dun like to talk bout my probs.make me forget bout it.*sigh*wanna be millionare??wad the..hai~wadeva lah..i dunno wanna control u.."I GOT NO FREEDOM"...-.-'


came home feelin rather sad.*sigh*stop discriminatin me lah u ppl!!i'm deaf,i'm a nerd,i'm boring..i tok funny,walk funny,look funny...WADEVA!!i alredi noe i'm all these.so can u guys juz shut up and accept the fact i'm not perfect..i'm not popular!!u think u guys so gd izziT?oh wait..i 4got.u have high egos!..wow...gd for u.AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i'm invisible!!!!GO AWAY!!!!IF U CAN'T ACCEPT THEN STOP DISCRMINATIN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!I'M SICK AND TIRED OF TREATED LIKE AN INVISIBLE FOOL.U GUYS ONLI COME TO ME WHEN U GOT PROB.OTHER THEN TT...I'M BASICALLY THE ONE ALWAYS ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!WAD THE HELL MAN!!!!!!!!oh and mrs cumar was tokin bout how we shld carry ourselves on the blogs.mrs cumar..this is for u:this is a blog for OUR opinions..of OUR life.i dun think u have the RIGHT to even tell us wad to write or wad not to on OUR blog.even if its not pleasin..i'm sorri..

tt's wad i thought at first..after going to bible study.i felt so enlighten.walkin past park mall.pictures of the blue light place flashes across my mind.*sigh*xr's mother called.was raining.saw wen hui and christabelle at hlm.but yet..i feel so down again...i dunno...i'm veh confused...i'm veh lost...


xr is not assumin.look,i kanna before and i raised this subject to her.some particular some1 thought i was smsin but i was actually depressed.and when i'm depressed i write poems.but since in tt place there was no space for me to take out my pen and paper,i used my hp as my 'notepad'.and my so called gd frenz didn't wanna disturb me for fear i would scold them.hah!wad a joke.and there were some frenz who felt realli left out.no1 realli tok to them.so they were using their hp.dunno whether smsin or playin game but they were on their hp the whole time.xr is not assumin.it happened before and it might happen again.xr uses wad happens ard the cg and frenz as an example to wad most of us are doin.she is of coz not pointin our to any1 in particular.but if u see it as tt then i'm sorri.ppl do have diff views and opinoins of the same/diff thing.i have no qualms bout it.

and look ard.look at urself.and i'm sorri if i can't do anything bout it.at least i noe i did smth.aren't u suppose to encourage and support each other?dun tell me crap like "she is not worth all these" and bla stuff.God creates a person for many reasons.i guess.but one of the reasons He did so was to make tt one person impact the ppl ard her/him and to also impact the world greatly in one way or another.u girls have made an impact in each other's life.frm wad i noe,xr helped u when u were down.now,instead of rubbin salt into the wound,why not juz find out frm her wad is happenin to her.i dunno,maybe u have alredi done tt.but help each other out.no matter wad.frenz strengthen and teaches u valueable lessons.hold on to these things coz u may neva noe when tt same prob might pop up again.i'm not sayin "pauline,u are at fault!!" or "xr,dun anyhow tok rot lah!" or stuff lidat.i'm juz tryin to say tt instead of arguin and stuff,juz tell each other wad is happenin.everybody face many probs in their life and God will pull them thru.but i think for this,God wants u to settle it by urself.i dunno..i'm crappin..^_^"..


inferiorty sets in.i have no confidence wadsoeva tt i'll pass my tests tml.its maths and chem.the subs which i am weak in.*sigh*i could have pass my maths test if not for my careless mistakes.and now i have to take a freakin RE-TEST.and the highest will onli be 15/30..which is..IF u get full marks.dumb ass lor.i cant take the pressure.maybe coz i'm always slackin but..wah lao..some more everytime get scolded by my father.*sigh*..yah yah..i'm condemnin the whole world.happy now?u teachers juz ASSUME tt since onli like wad..ONE pupil said foul language and bla stuff..u judge us all.and u still have the guts to say WE condemn YOU.oh plz..wad bout u guys.i dun wanna be wad or anything but think bout it lah.oh my..i 4got..i dun even NOE whether u NOE my blog.oOo lala.

ARGH!!!!!i'm sick of the probs tt are ard me.and i'm dull.its confirm.no wonder my classmates think i'm boring,nerdish.wow..*sigh*


Ashl3y: I also agree with brother Daniel , n154. This problem of unity is identified. What can we do about it now?? We should do some actions about it.. Like NOT alwaYs Mixing around only with the same company of cg members, but keep changing companions & keep a look out for new friends, Left out of any conversation or "seems to be sending SMSes".. hey!! are u sure he/she is Smsing somebodY.. or is he/she's just pretending that they are occupied, just not wanting to feel awkward Being Left Out??? Think abt it , shan't we??

i feel like a small sister,watchin my older sis stand up for me..hMmZ..oh and mr thomson,if ur readin this..aren't u condemnin us too?not all the bloggers frm our sch is bad.


nkf is realli cool.both the acts and how sgporens tear themselves apart from $$ to give to charity.church was realli cool today.saw my auntie at jp.met xinyi,xr and weikang(ah boi arR,jian tou fa liao hor?haha..bu yao pai seh lah.)at hlm.nkf realli touchin.they go thru so much pain and stuff.so ppl,dun take ur life for granted.at any moment,u can be faced wif a difficulty.whether u can solve it or not,it all depends.frenz,life is unpredictable.treasure the moments u have and realli find the purpose in life.with God's help,i'm sure the impossible will turn to become the possible.so dun give up.Jesus didn't,would u? He gave His life for us.so tt whoeva belives in him may have eternal life.but juz believin alone won't help for faith wifout works is dead.work and strive hard and remember, God is watchin over u,24/7.

pray to him when u are in need and seek guidance from him.i know i have and he has helped me countless times.and countless times too he had neva answered me.but truly God is a good God and will nv forsake us.and like wad sis yp usually say "seek first the kingdom of God and the rest shall be added onto u".so guys,if u are in a difficult situation and thinkin tt openin the back door is gd.then think bout it.troubles are meant to strengthen u.God would nv let u be dishearten.being a christian is nv easy.but u'll noe tt all the hard work is worth it as u reap wad u sow.God will NEVER leave u.would U leave him?



juz read daniel's email not long ago.wad he say is realli true.guys,dun stick to ur own cliques but rather,move out and get to know the frenz.=Xx...i think i'll juz keep quiet lah.dunno wad to really say.anyway,i guess i'll fail my art exam.i dunno.my work sux man..*sigh*but somehow,i have this feelin tt i'll still pass,wif flying colours but i dunno..i dun usually trust my feelins.and guys,plz pray for our fellow cg members?


i'm utterly speechless.there's a mix of emotions in me.i'm tired yet alive.i'm lost yet i'm found.i dunno.
and i was sitting on a cockroach yesterday. :| 3rd time man..i feel like quiting sch.it kinda builds up on pressure and stuff.maybe its coz i'm a slacker.play first then study.well,maybe tt's it.tt's me. :\ kim is comin for cgm!yay!zhikai and marcus dunno whether can come or not .*sigh*and i bet today cumar will throw a BIG fuss if i say i 4got to bring my clay marble summary.and my dNt..i'm so dead.i'm totally clueless man.i'm bloggin early in the morning so ya..u get the idea...shall blog later..IF i have the time.


i juz did smth wrong.so wrong....blood oozing out.i dropped it.regret filled me.i've hurt Christ,big time.*sigh*..i'm sorry..i'm sorry.i was rash.i was thinkin clear enough.forgive me......*sigh*i'm worried bout my work.can i cope?can i not?tml got 2.4km run.Lord, strengthen me.*sigh*i regret...i regret.call me foolish,look down on me.i'm at fault.*sigh*gone..its all gone..


today was cool.the drama,though i can't say the same for the bbq.some were like,bored out of their wits.some went swimming,some played bball and monkey.some even tried to start the fire which in the end took almost half our afternn to be 'blasted'.hMmZ.weisheng was cold to me,as usual.ah i dunno lah..wasn't even close to him in the first place.zhikai looked so much more matured man.haha.i'm serious.he's grown taller and haha..some1 likes him.. :D marcus looked the same except for his hair and height.adam arR..didn't see him today.danG.kim was cool.social butterfly.haha.oh oh..on the way home,she and eugene were havin a war/fight.kinda scary man.eugene!!everytime make me fall haR?!why arR!?!..haha..kiddin.anyway,during the bbq,made frenz with daniel,sam's fren

he's kinda cool lah.but kinda crazy.haha.shake hand oso shake until so hard,later if dislocated i'm gonna kill u!(haha,he's not gonna look here,he doesn't even noe my email,much less..me..haha!!)well,techno siao guy..haha.4got to get his number.danG lah.nvm lah..at least got daniel POON to help out.wahaha..=Xx.well,there's alot of disputes in some areas.hope u guys will solve it and ____,keep pressin on and trust God to pull u through.ur realli one strong guy.keep on keepin on! :D today was relatively gd. :)


its in the morning now.gonna leave the hse soon for the easter service at indoor stadium.shamini couldn't come coz she's sick.concidence?always when i ask her she got smth 'bad' happen to her..hMmZ..nvm lah.amazing thing last nite was tt i prayed veh strongly..in the bathroom!i'm serious.i dunno lah..i mean..i felt the urgency to reach out to the unsaved and backslidders.i even prayed for healing to come upon shamini. :D but i knowin her,even if she is alright,she won't come. :\ well,hope nick will be ok.lately see him oso like..sad sad lah.dunno how to say.and i returned the book!!gee..its the most chimified book i have read but yet the most interesting.haha.its realli a cool book. the bvgalri smth smth..i dunno!!die.. :| anyway,went to return the book yesterday and well,i was walkin towards the escalator when -pLoP-..and its rite on my..oh nvm.its somebody's saliva!! sticky sticky.urk! juz hope tt it was frm a baby's mouth. haha.

i'm excited.haha.and i still haven't finished my homework.i'm done for.cumar is so gonna cut open my head and bash my brain.yes..i noe.."eEe!!"..well,i am a disgustin ger.wahaha.read and saw too many murder 'scenes' alredi. :D well,i hope pelyn is ok now and won't bear grudges against deb,pauline and xr..(well,even me after wad i have done..)pelyn,try to see things thru other ppl's perspective and not wad u can see alone.we all see diff things even if its the same 'object'.example:
a pen
"a gateway to a diff place of diff opportunities and of a diff world"--->author
"so i can do my homework wif lor!"---->student
"its juz a pen,wif ink?"---->erm..someone?haha
"erm,i guess its like,a pen,and like u can write wif it and like...."---->bimbo(yes,i'm evil)
"a creative invention,simple and useful"--->inventer
wahaha..so many more i can think of...anyway,'in-point'..u see the world pushin all the blame to u and u 'suffering' but wad does the rest see?the most important factor:wad does God sees?its no use wastin time on this...i guess..

for me,if i'm angry at a person,it can't be longer than a day.i can't be angry and hold grudges against ppl,its in me and its also wad God wants us to do.let go..and dun bear grudges.if u think xr and pauline are at fault,pray for them and bless them.haiya..everyone pray for each other k? :D


i'm enlightened.after listenin to this christian song and readin some article on christianity.guys..love..maybe its nth more to me?i dunno.hurt time and time again.but i noe Jesus is all i eva need. :D


yes,i'm like this.accept it.and this is MY blog.MY views.My opinions.My world.if u can't accept it then i suggest u stop critisizing bout it.coz no1 is perfect.if ur so perfect then why am i here typin out this stupid 'lecture'?i can hardly control my temper these days.dun make me get angry at u..u won't noe how evil i can get.u can always ask xr if u dun believe.she's seen tt side of me.

and next time if i remain quiet.dun blame me.wad i say takes no effect until someone else says it.i wanna help,but its of no use.and i'm startin to doubt whether any1 takes me seriously


JuZ cNT think tt xiu rong is a back stabber onli noes how to think 4 others when she doesn't think bout herself in the first place lorrrzz!!!so PISSED OFF WITH HER ATTITUDE SHE IS SHOWING ME!!thanks alot PAULINE i m always in the FAULT i noe it n i won noe how to CHANGE if u dun tell me why u r not happy with me..!

if ppl care less bout themselves and more bout other ppl,u call them a backstabber?oh yah,like how?they backstab themselves?look,i noe i have no rite in sayin this but i realli wanna get it off.i dun even think U will even LOOK at my blog..u are always are fault arR..wah.always leh.so li hai.then wad bout JESUS?!u tell me.every second tt passes by,there will be at least one person in the world who blames Him."why did u make me suffer like this?i've neva done anything wrong!".."i hate u,u coz me to lose everything.so now ur happy?!" etc etc...pelyn,it doesn't matter.Gd Friday is tml and easter is on sunday.look...juz accept things as it is.

wahaha!!today the "Fabric of the Nation" is finally open to everyone!haha.nice leh.i wanna go..anyway,i oso wanna go for the Lord of the Rings triology at science center!!man..its cool leh.the effects and stuff.man...can learn so much.hMmZ..today has NAPFA.wah man..i lackin arR..but still healthy.heng. :D all i need to pass is my 2.4km run and i get GOLD.FINALLY after so many erm..years?haha.since p5 then onli get bronze coz my run always veh..erm..bad.haha.cumar was awesomely boring today. :\ and dez fell down and hurt her leg.oh yah,cumar gave out chocolate eggs today.its the same as the ones given out in MRL. :| well,today's chapel was boring?there was alot of feedback and ppl were complaining.if they think its so easy,then do it urself lah.complain so much.and weilan,vivan and eileen were so damn IRRITATIN!!..i mean..they were yakkin away almost..the whole of the time spent at the hall.it was realli hard to hear the lady tell her 'true life' story.and for my chinese test,i think i'm gonna fail.-.-' i mae alot of careless mistakes and forgot alot of words.but in the end liyun,me and wei yun ask chang`e for the ans.haha.the chinese teacher so toot leh.dunno wad's happenin.but she oso veh funny.haha.=Xx

well,i'm kinda tired now.juz got home after NAPFA.so i'm juz gonna chill out.peace out.


today's chapel service was realli cool.all the instruments and stuff.singin BETTA songs.haha.to me..God's presence was realli there,touching ppls hearts.cca today was er..stupid.haha.

anyway.i noe i have no say in this or wadsoeva but i juz wanna say wad is on my mind.why can't u guys juz forget bout this whole matter?u gonna let this small thing ruined ur 'life'?yes,"who cares how she feels about me"..but how do u think God feels?he wants u to be more like Jesus.yes,u are created like this.but we are all imperfect and we can always improve on ourselves.i dunno lah..but look,its not worth it.and heck care bout those meaningless crap.and as i see,i dunno,i dun see pauline self-pitying.plz lah ppl,change ur view of her.dun let her past image remain in ur head.give pauline a chance.i gave a chance for xr to prove to me,the world and herself tt she can be betta.and she did.yes,she's imperfect but i noe she made an effort.ppl still see her as a ***** and bla stuff.but i guess,as long as God sees u and sees wad you've done,tt's the 'bez thing'.

u do wad u think is rite..hMmZ.have u eva asked urself,izzit rite in the eyes of God?its not all juz bout UR opinions and views.there is still God's.i heard from 'both sides' and u guys say the opposite of each other.look,juz shake hands,BOTH SIDES say ur sorry and be frenz again.its realli not worth it.our life is a test.God is our judge/teacher and marks it,giving us marks for each 'section'.this is another 'section' of ur life,whether u gain marks or lose some,it all depends on wad u do.think over bout it.i noe i might be talkin crap and stuff,u may choose not to even read on but i still think u guys shld juz forgive and forget.like i said,its not worth it.
"Do not repay evil with evil..."(taken from the bible,forgot which book.haha..=Xx)
i noe its not relavent to wad i had said but i juz feel like i shld type it out.juz..let go k ppl?


wad's happenin to the cg..to the ppl?deb,pauline,pelyn and xr quarelling over some shit..nick..i dunno wad the hell happened to him..yvonne peh and evelyn are coming back.which is a gd thing..i dunno lah.u ppl..esp PELYN,stop..i dunno..the cg needs unity.and if u guys dun stop this misunderstandin between u all..then it can affect the WHOLE cg.i'm serious.xr said jowell was influencing pelyn..which i think is true.but i won't stick my butt into this..i guess.guys..if these could break up ur frenship,then its not worth it.and Jesus died on the cross for us.he took away our sins so tt we can be sin-less.(actually i'm gettin nowhere coz i dunno wad the hell i'm even talking about)


u always makin things betta?look,i have done so many things to get ur ass out of trouble,sacrificed my body countless times but NO.its always u makin things betta and me juz relaxing.ok fine,i admit but i did some things too.i did some things to make it go betta.i had to waste my time,my money,my energy juz to go all the way there to cheer u up,to make things betta for each other.excuses?!fine lah.i make excuses.i told u time and time again.i'm tellin the truth but u see it as an excuse.public a________?u think i dun wan izzit?but wad if i see some c____ m______ there?look,i'm not makin excuses.i wan things to get better but u tell me how?i'm faced wif so much 'publicity'.yes,sometimes we both are at fault but so...u noe it urself tt in the end,somehow,it'll be my fault.

change my attitude,my mentality.i noe i noe..i'm tryin!!ur not seeing how hard i'm trying!!nobody except for God!and i dun wan u to discriminate the one i love.if u can't handle the fact tt he is my first priority then i suggest u find somebody else.yes,i will be in pain.but i noe God will pull me thru it!i told u countless times how slow and dumb i can be.u said u could handle it.u'll support me...but...no....hai~


can't exactly remember wad happened yesterday.but oh yea..i juz got my hair cut.i like the fringe but i can't say the same for the length of my hair coz i look like some boi.not those butch or bung type.i dunno.juz..boi..haha.and the speck of dust guy-can't remember his name-he is somewhat strange.he can make those -_-' but i can't do my -.-' its weird.i mean,he thinks when i do tt i'm unhappy or smth.shucks man.nvm..muz control anger or wadeva feelin tt i am suppose to overcome.say i'm weird.i dunno.didn't go for prayer meetin today.i didn't noe i had to stay back till like..5?!?i thought i onli had to print out some stuff for ms ferng and TADA,tt's all.but NO.gosh..i miss out the 'fun' at prayer meetin.oh well..and i saw sod[speck of dust] online a few mins ago.

can onli wish da best 4 u says:
k nothin else 2 tok already buh bie

uh huh..u could talk a whole load of things wif yvonne but me?ah..nvm.i noe i'm not gd at socializing.oh,i saw mdm lum's 'filial' son today.he was driving this oh so majorly huge it could fit 2 whole families inside,including a dog car.inside the car there was this realli adorable westland white terrier!!wahaha..cute man.i wan a dog! :D and i'm gettin more and more blur these days.*sigh*i dun even think i can get 10th in class wif Liu Chang and gen ard.hai~oh well,muz work hard..if not my father and cousin will come and kidnap me.and u might juz see me in "Missing".bwhaha.i'm talkin crap..
me talking crap = hungry
:D yes yes,i noe..i'm weird.i can't help it.this is me.oh oh..yesterday the sec 3s went for alpha camp.seems kinda fun but i dunno...and i saw this big grp of girls doing in-line skating in the sch..

seems fun and i was makin the sound effects for the instructor tt was skatin ard.wahaha.fun..and i realli wonder...have u seen those shows tt the kids help their father find a new special someone coz his wife/their mother died a long time ago and bla bla bla?in the end he found another 'perfect' girl?i dunno..i juz find it..hMmZ..God will love us forever no matter wad.but guys..they say they'll love u forever/eternity/until the end of time but a few months later,u guys break up.sometimes maybe for stupid misunderstandings.maybe some girls are like tt but hey,this proves my point.God is forever and his love is never ending. :D haha..dunno why i am writing this.

Hey
I'm Adelene. You already know me, so there's no need for introductions (:

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