Tagboard

i'll post more later but now..i'm damn annoyed.i wanted to post my entry up but no..my screwed up com juz hung.not realli hang lah but i think my com got some stupid virus then everytime i open a window then got error..its so freakin annoyin..AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH


yesterdat was crazy.went back to sch to check the scores.heng man.i onli failed two subjects.kinda sad though.anyway,after checkin our results.dez and me kinda crapped ard.we brought our chairs out of the classroom and placed it at the front of the door.then we brought the portable fan and ya..i think u shld noe lah arR.crazy man.and dez told me a lame joke today.and i told it to almost everybody at church.haha.i shld join the lamers inc.anyways,church was gd.except for the fact tt i malu myself.

well,smth happened lah.i dunno wad i shld do sia.hai~well,my father fected xinyi back.we knida crapped along the way and my father might FINALLY sign me up for maths tuition.well..today..nth much happened.shall blog later.nth to say.haha


received my results today.well,i practically blasted at almost everybody today.i wasn't myself.with a triple chop from a pork chop(yes,i'm hungry..).my maths failed.its expected and the usual thing,so ya.kinda sad.i figured i would at least get 40 odd or 50 but no,who would have thought i had 29/100.sad huh.well,one thing tt made me smile was my art.though my prep work was crap,i still managed to get a 60/100.art hauls fisballs man!wahaha.well,kinda happy ms yeo didn't minus off my precious 5 marks. :D anyways,my english is deteriorating.from 70,to 60 to 50!ah man..guess i'm not gonna do as well for my mid-year exams.and maybe my streamin.aiE~ hoot the owl man.

i passed my dNt man.its a miracle.i seriously thought i would fail but who knew. :D and one of my orthographic drawings had a 9/10.mighty high i say.but still,was majorly pissed off wif my marks.it wasn't wad others would say,up to standard.and i'm oso pissed off my yee wui.i mean,stop insultin me.u hate me,then juz say it straight to my face.its not like i will tell cumar bout it.sheesh.
"eEe,ur handwrittin so ugly" "not like u,so ugly"
a scene at the canteen[recess(or was it after checkin of papers?]
-wash hands-*splash splash*
dez:*places wet hand on my shoulder*
me:(i didn't give a reaction coz it was on the shoulder.i mean,who would actually look at my shoulder?)
yW:*places wet hand on dez,then on me.both on our backs*
so i had my 'revenge' my juz 'jumping' onto her a while later.
a scene in the canteen[after eatin our lunch]
ok,i can't remember this part..juz continue on though..
me:*places wet hand on yW's back.*
yw:-with shocked,irritated and angry look-oy!!!!y u make my back?!
me:u make mine first wad
yw:but u juz now alredi make me back liao
me:-keeps quiet-

*sigh*i guess its my fault.i dunno.i was juz plainly pissed off my buttocks to think bout anything else.until when i walked back to get my things,i thought:izzit me or am i realli changin..into smth worse?wad's happenin to me?i didn't noe wad i was doin today.completely lost control of myself i guess.oh,and not to mention,i was 'selected' to participate in the Onefun.com.i'm not a wee bit interested in going though.and cumar wants at least 5 from the 'lucky' few to go.if their parents can't make it,the 5 girls juz form a team.and hey,its not free u noe.$4 per head.

well,i'm feelin betta now.kinda confused but i'll be ok i guess.


tt's why i dun try to doll myself up.tt's why i dun wanna keep long hair.stop it man..juz..stop it.i'm not some1 u can juz hit.i mean,i admit tt sometimes i'm at fault but wad's the use of whackin the shit out of me,kickin me..and for goodness sake,pulling my hair.quit it!!wadeva..its not like u get to see this anyway..i juz wonder whether i'm juz gettin frm bad to worse or tt my parents dun understand me at all.and no..i'm not tryin to publicize bout this matter...dun get the wrong idea.anyway,its not like the whole world will see my blog.and it is MY blog.my life and stuff..*sigh*..help out wif hsehold chores oso wrong.hai~i juz dun get it.

today morning..sad..tears were in my eyes but i tried my bez to hold it back.but went to sch.between mi and my parents,the gap is bigger.i guess its me.i admit..i'm disobdient.read ghost stories today.rain today.and well,got a little wet.class was havoc today.crapness..didn't realli do much today.was suppose to have inter-class competition but due to bad weather,cancelled.saw huiling today when at the hall..
me:my money leh?
huiling:wo yu mei you qian(i oso dun have money/its not like i have money)
somehow her words struck me.tears filled my eyes again.from close frenz to 'enemies'.i seriously have nth against her.juz tt i guess i need my $$ back.its been about 5 long years and she has yet to clear her debt.i dunno wad i shld do

shld i call her mother.or shld i juz wait and wait.i dunno..maybe i was too nice to her last time,and she got away.and now i'm more strict,she's still running away.i guess..we're not gd pals anymore huh.so easily destroyed.and yet,so..i dunno.somehow..almost everything is startin to hurt me.ALMOST.i feel so useless..hai~i'm realli at lost of wad to do.things change as time flies past us.its so quick tt we bearly noe,its almost over.tml i'm gonna get my results.i realli hope i pass wif flyin colours.i juz hope i get 60 smth.hai~but i guess...hai~i realli dunno.i'm at total lost now.


-word power
-crapped wif xinyi
-smth happened which realli upset me.
-saw ting tong man
-saw shut up man
-saw sushi on floor
hahaha!!!!!!
=Xx


went pyscho yesterday while chillin wif the members.haha.hey,i was hungry.anyway,friday's cgm was realli gd.i cried and stuff.not much of cryin lah..but well,tears juz filled my eyes.and before tt i was trapped at kallang.went to leisure park to chill wif yee wui and gang but who would have thought they were heartless creeps.not discriminatin them or wadeva but..
me:i gtg liao..eh,can some1 pei wo go out there or not.later i lost then dunno liao..haha
gang:-quiet-
me:...yee wui,can go wif me?
yee wui:huh?dun wan lah
and so on and so forth.this is not the onli thing lah but wad the heck.i guess its my fault too lah.i dunno.

and i have no idea how to approach spike.he's in his sk8er world and me..i'm in my crappified world.arR man,dunno whether he still into sa tan and bla.hai~i guess after friday,i've learn to be more cheerful and sociable..and in way lah.i'm kinda quiet and abit anti-social at times but i changed abit lah.haha.i dunno.anyway,my dark circles are..gettin darker.whoa..wahaha.and i have this urge to get on a sk8board.wahaha.weird.service was realli gd yesterday,except for the fact tt i was alone on the other side of the earth.wahaha.saw zhuo hwa in the mrt yesterday.had fun tokin to her.wahaha.bout food. :D well,went to the arcade wif xinyi and veron yesterday.we were abit mad when we went out of the mrt station.

*sigh*am i fallin back to my old ways?oh and word power is this tuesday.HELP!40 verses..i cannot!*protests*i have short term memory!!..aiE~


wow..i think blogger took a makeover or smth.haha.anyway,exams exams.i'm gonna die of it.and i'm realli gonna fail my maths paper wif flying colours.yes,fail.not pass.i hardly eva pass my maths.even if i do,its marginal(correct spellin?)..or shld i say,borderline.*sigh*and i heard lost prophets on radio last nite.*gasps*call mi evil or wadeva,but i prefer them to be 'unpopular' but since they alredi are..sad lah.haha.yes yes,i'm mean.go on,i noe u wanna say it.anyway,yesterday went to study wif my cousin.learn loads of stuff from her.then i went to hlm to buy a mug for my father.(his birthday yesterday!)and today..freakin fishballs!it was raining.it was indeed coolin but eh,got caught in the rain and embarrassed myself most of the time.damn..

i accept everyone.but does everyone accept me?u do have alot of frenz.and plz,i won't 'boycott' u.ur one of the ppl i trust most.


i'm am utterly confused.i shudder at every thought of it.haha..its up to them..its up to them.no matter how much fuss they kick up,no matter wad happens to them,there's ppl who go to their tagboard and tag.give them a call or lend them a listenin ear.at least there is some1 doin smth to help/show care and concern to them.for me...no matter wad happens..there's none.yes,there is xr..but....i dunno lah!!!!!and wad's wif the "how can u tell sis yp bout my probs wifout MY permission?!"juz plainly tt we dunno how the HELL WE'RE SUPPOSE TO HELP U?!HECK,NO MATTER WAD I DO,ITS NOT SEEN IN OTHER PPL'S EYES.THERE'S ONLI FISH.BUT WAD BOUT U GUYS?!I SAY SAY SAY,ADVISE ADVISE ADVISE..HELP HELP HELP...OSO NO USE!!!WHEN U GOT PROB,U COME TO ME,I KEEP QUIET...U SAY THE WHOLE WORLD DUN CARE BOUT U.WHEN I HELP U,ITS ONLI A SMALL THING AND IT CAN'T INSPIRE U TO DO ANYTHING.AND THE COMPLAINS KEEP ROLLIN IN.

WAD DO U WAN ME TO DO?U!!WHEN U GOT PROB,U COME TO ME.FINE,I HELP.BUT WHEN I WANNA SAY SOME 'WORDS OF ADVISE',U CUT IN AND CONTINUE ON AND ON.OK,FINE..I WANNA SAY..CANNOT...Y?COZ GOT UR SENOIRS THERE.WALK PASS U AND "EH,HI!!!*SMILE*"...IF U CAN SMILE MORE WHEN UR WIF UR SENOIRS AND JUNOIRS,THEN GO AHEAD AND BE WIF THEM AND SEEK THEIR ADVISE!!!!U DUN NEED MY FREAKIN HELP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!AND YOU!!!TIME AND TIME AGAIN U COME TO ME WIF UR PROBS,I HELP..I DUN MIND..I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST U.BUT NO!!U WERE THE ONE WHO DISPLAYED MY NAME ON UR BLOG AND WAD..SAY I'M A HYPOCRITE?!FINE LAH..FINE!!IF U GUYS THINK SO THEN GO AHEAD..DUN GIMME THE HOPE THEN I AM ACCEPTED!!!!!COZ NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SAY,U WON'T THINK MUCH OF IT

SO NO POINT COMIN TO ME WHEN UR GONNA GO TO ANOTHER PERSON TO CONFIDE IN.I'M NOT SAYIN U CAN'T BUT WAD'S THE POINT OF U COMIN TO ME??!?!!SOME OF THE THINGS I SAY,U THINK ITS SMALL.BUT WHEN U GO TO ANOTHER PERSON AND HE OR SHE SAYS THE SAME THING,WOW!!..IT MAKES A BIG IMPACT IN UR LIFE!IRONIC.MAYBE U SEE ME AS GO CRAZY OR SMTH.MAYBE UR RITE.UR ALWAYS RITE,AND I'M WRONG.ITS EITHER U GUYS ACCEPT ME OR STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!I'M GOING CRAZY ALREDI OK?!?I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND U FREAKIN IMPOSTER,U STAND TO GET WAD U WANT.TO SEE ME LIKE THIS,IN ANGUISH.GD FOR U.WAD ELSE DO U WAN TO DO?ITS NO POINT.

__________________________________________________________

Fumbling his confidence
And wond'ring why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments,
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live





had multiple dreams today.anyway..wad's happenin?!?!YES YES...I DUN CARE LAH!THINK WAD U WANT LAH.FISH IS BOUT TO GO TO ANOTHER GIRL AND NOW THIS.YES YES...MY FAULT LAH!!!ALWAYS IS WAD.I NEVA DO ANYTHING.AND THERE'S THIS STUPID POSER ON MY TAGBOARD INSULTIN ME AND MY FRENZ.FINE..FINE...FINE!!!!!MY FAULT!!!OK!!!MY FAULT!!!!HAPPY!!!WHY CAN'T U GUYS JUZ LET ME OFF FOR ONCE?!?!




aiE~...sounds kinda true though

Introverted (I) 51.52% Extroverted (E) 48.48%
Imaginative (N) 51.61% Realistic (S) 48.39%
Emotional (F) 53.33% Intellectual (T) 46.67%
Easygoing (P) 54.55% Organized (J) 45.45%




feelin betta today.haha.guess i had a major moodswing or smth.hMmZ..nevertheless,my words can't seem to realli go to the inch of touchin ppl's heart.hai~ANYWAY,today had english paper 2.scary sia.and the passage is like wad,always bout black ppl fightin for their rights and stuff.hMmZ..i mean,if u gave us the background then at least we can understand betta..haiyo0..went for bible study today.rushed like hell there to find out i was early.damn.and i nearly got 'banged down' by a car.eh,cars these days dun signal,so how would i noe he was gonna go straight instead of turning.i nearly knocked into some guy in kfc holdin tons of trays.yiEsh~...i veh clumsy today.hRmZ..oh oh..mi and yee wui went mad today and made fun of joanne.real fun man,real fun
yee wui:kenneth!!!
me:joanne!!!
*runs to each other*
*"joanne" falls*
yee wui:aiE~
me:i'll catch u i'll catch u..i promise!
*"joanne" falls unto floor"-bOinG-
haha..ms ang was inviglating today.a bit mad leh tt woman."its alredi 2.25pm and there's onli so few ppl in the class.dun u noe ur gonna start at 2.30pm?!"aiyo0..i mean,ya..but oso no need to shout like siao rite?haha..

enlightened now.hEe~haha..i think i shall go slack first before i study.wahaha..biE ppl


its a long time since i blogged.many things happen ya.i guess now the main issue is $$,studies and frenz.
$$:huiling owes me a total of $79.50 and by the way she gives me her replies,she couldn't give a hoot bout returnin my money.and to make it worse,its not even MY money but my PARENTS.*Sigh*...and i gave $4 to haoren on behalf of xr. shld i rejoice or cry. :|
studies:i'm slackin like shit and my grades are droppin like how ppl fall off buildings. :\ oh well..exams is offcially startin this friday but tml i have a english test.hope i pass wif ultimate flyin colours man..
frenz:our cg is facin many tribulations yet..some of them dun trust in the Lord.some of them 4got bout the Lord and others,i shan't say.we deal wif our probs differently..hRmZ..anyway,xr..buck up k..

*sigh*..i dunno lah.i feel like i'm the boring person.even worse than last time.and the sight of kim irks me :| anyway,shan't talk bout this..

You..you of all ppl,you..u shld noe tt inflictin this upon urself won't get u anywhere.help ease the pain?haha..if it was tt simple than i think i'll have multiple cuts on my hand.aren't u like wad pst kong said,those kinda ppl who are lookin for shortcuts in their life?it was said before tt certain things here on earth we can't deal wif it ourselves but unless wif the Holy Spirit and the Lord helpin us along the way.it doesn't mean tt,oh,He'll come straight from wad he is doin to help YOU.He has to follow His own timetable but He would neva forsake u.i mean,if He were then we shldn't have followed Him.serving the Lord is never an easy task but knowin the blessings that would be showered upon u after ur hardwork,shldn't u go all out?(i dunno wad i'm sayin...)

u have no friends?then look around u.no wait,i think u mean u have no true frenz.am i right?it doesn't matter..i mean,in some ways it does but wad the heck..cherish the close frenz u have ard u.esp those in the cg.u say ppl ignore u.but from wad i see,when ppl tok to u..u either:
1)walk away wifout replyin
2)reply for a while then walk away
i dunno...tt's wad other ppl told me too.and i'm not,based on wad they say,going against u.i dun favour anybody.i juz want u to noe tt ppl want to talk to u,get to noe u.but would u allow them?would u allow God to reach into ur heart and touch it so tremendously tt u'll neva eva noe the meaning of hurt?look ard u and look ar urself..then say wad u wanna say..

we are helpin u..are u gonna see it as casual help frm 'distant' frenz or help from ppl who realli cares for u? i hope i'm not addin fuel to the fire(obviously i am) but maybe God doesn't want u to look for the ans in the bible,nor in Him(wad crap) but rather in the things ard u tt He has blessed u wif.like i said before,life is like an exam/test.but God can't help us all the time..but rather,we have to help ourselves.well...at least tt's wad i think.its up to u to decide.but i really hope u'll stop hurtin urself.yes,i feel the pain,but not because i'm guilty of anything but i dun wanna see my brother(in christ)doin this to himself.i did it before,yes,i admit..but i got out of it.coz everytime i look at my wrist wif the scars,i realised,i'm not hurtin myself but instead,hurtin Jesus.and i dun realli have a TRUE fren to confide in,yes..there's xinyi,xr and many others but for me to call a true fren,i have 0.

God has indeed blessed me wif so many 'true' frenz;frenz tt dun discriminate u coz u look,walk and talk funny.but sometimes,to me lah,i think tt the onli true fren i have is realli Christ.coz onli He knows my deepest and darkest secrets,my thoughts,my feelings...everybody is a fren to me.even a stranger..(ironic)but,i can't realli count them as a true,blue fren...i dunno..tt's wad i think..i shan't talk bout this anymore..i dunno..i'm feeling stressed out and hai~..i dunno...


the more i think..the more i notice and see tt..no matter how much i help others...it doesn't realli matter at all.hRmZ..tt's how i see it lah.i mean,i'm not as kind and bla as wenzi but...AH..nvm..inferiorty sets in again..*sigh*


toked to sis yp on the phone yesterday.felt kinda enlighten coz i let alot of things out of my heart.so ya..kinda comfortin.one thing i learnt is tt when the same prob keeps 'comin back',the prob is not tt but YOU urself.and,ppl,have faith in the Lord ya?coz there are many things here on earth tt we ourselves cannot do wifout the Holy Spirit and the Lord guidin us.anyway,i'm havin cramps..aiE~~~

edify:To instruct especially so as to encourage intellectual, moral, or spiritual improvement.(i'm learning english..wahaha)

inferiorty always sets in for me.why?coz i'm blur,dumb,retard..etc etc..juz ask haikal.juz ask pavan.juz ask about any1 in the world.yes yes,"i have always been here for u"but u noe wad?u ppl comfort me and stuff.but when things dun turn out the way U like it,i'm a bitch.i'm irritatin.i'm screwed.fine.fine.hypocrites.i'm serious.no wait,maybe i'm juz havin moodswings...

Oh ya. I duno wad's wrong wid Adel.. But I'll owaes b dere. Jus gimme a ring or a msg or wdv.. Thou I nort tt close 2 u, hope u can share ur probs wid me nor.

i'll let everybody noe..once and for all.i dun usually open up to ppl.i keep it to myself.maybe tt's why i feel depressed.*sigh*...i'll talk more bout it tml..

i'll post more later but now..i'm damn annoyed.i wanted to post my entry up but no..my screwed up com juz hung.not realli hang lah but i think my com got some stupid virus then everytime i open a window then got error..its so freakin annoyin..AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH


yesterdat was crazy.went back to sch to check the scores.heng man.i onli failed two subjects.kinda sad though.anyway,after checkin our results.dez and me kinda crapped ard.we brought our chairs out of the classroom and placed it at the front of the door.then we brought the portable fan and ya..i think u shld noe lah arR.crazy man.and dez told me a lame joke today.and i told it to almost everybody at church.haha.i shld join the lamers inc.anyways,church was gd.except for the fact tt i malu myself.

well,smth happened lah.i dunno wad i shld do sia.hai~well,my father fected xinyi back.we knida crapped along the way and my father might FINALLY sign me up for maths tuition.well..today..nth much happened.shall blog later.nth to say.haha


received my results today.well,i practically blasted at almost everybody today.i wasn't myself.with a triple chop from a pork chop(yes,i'm hungry..).my maths failed.its expected and the usual thing,so ya.kinda sad.i figured i would at least get 40 odd or 50 but no,who would have thought i had 29/100.sad huh.well,one thing tt made me smile was my art.though my prep work was crap,i still managed to get a 60/100.art hauls fisballs man!wahaha.well,kinda happy ms yeo didn't minus off my precious 5 marks. :D anyways,my english is deteriorating.from 70,to 60 to 50!ah man..guess i'm not gonna do as well for my mid-year exams.and maybe my streamin.aiE~ hoot the owl man.

i passed my dNt man.its a miracle.i seriously thought i would fail but who knew. :D and one of my orthographic drawings had a 9/10.mighty high i say.but still,was majorly pissed off wif my marks.it wasn't wad others would say,up to standard.and i'm oso pissed off my yee wui.i mean,stop insultin me.u hate me,then juz say it straight to my face.its not like i will tell cumar bout it.sheesh.
"eEe,ur handwrittin so ugly" "not like u,so ugly"
a scene at the canteen[recess(or was it after checkin of papers?]
-wash hands-*splash splash*
dez:*places wet hand on my shoulder*
me:(i didn't give a reaction coz it was on the shoulder.i mean,who would actually look at my shoulder?)
yW:*places wet hand on dez,then on me.both on our backs*
so i had my 'revenge' my juz 'jumping' onto her a while later.
a scene in the canteen[after eatin our lunch]
ok,i can't remember this part..juz continue on though..
me:*places wet hand on yW's back.*
yw:-with shocked,irritated and angry look-oy!!!!y u make my back?!
me:u make mine first wad
yw:but u juz now alredi make me back liao
me:-keeps quiet-

*sigh*i guess its my fault.i dunno.i was juz plainly pissed off my buttocks to think bout anything else.until when i walked back to get my things,i thought:izzit me or am i realli changin..into smth worse?wad's happenin to me?i didn't noe wad i was doin today.completely lost control of myself i guess.oh,and not to mention,i was 'selected' to participate in the Onefun.com.i'm not a wee bit interested in going though.and cumar wants at least 5 from the 'lucky' few to go.if their parents can't make it,the 5 girls juz form a team.and hey,its not free u noe.$4 per head.

well,i'm feelin betta now.kinda confused but i'll be ok i guess.


tt's why i dun try to doll myself up.tt's why i dun wanna keep long hair.stop it man..juz..stop it.i'm not some1 u can juz hit.i mean,i admit tt sometimes i'm at fault but wad's the use of whackin the shit out of me,kickin me..and for goodness sake,pulling my hair.quit it!!wadeva..its not like u get to see this anyway..i juz wonder whether i'm juz gettin frm bad to worse or tt my parents dun understand me at all.and no..i'm not tryin to publicize bout this matter...dun get the wrong idea.anyway,its not like the whole world will see my blog.and it is MY blog.my life and stuff..*sigh*..help out wif hsehold chores oso wrong.hai~i juz dun get it.

today morning..sad..tears were in my eyes but i tried my bez to hold it back.but went to sch.between mi and my parents,the gap is bigger.i guess its me.i admit..i'm disobdient.read ghost stories today.rain today.and well,got a little wet.class was havoc today.crapness..didn't realli do much today.was suppose to have inter-class competition but due to bad weather,cancelled.saw huiling today when at the hall..
me:my money leh?
huiling:wo yu mei you qian(i oso dun have money/its not like i have money)
somehow her words struck me.tears filled my eyes again.from close frenz to 'enemies'.i seriously have nth against her.juz tt i guess i need my $$ back.its been about 5 long years and she has yet to clear her debt.i dunno wad i shld do

shld i call her mother.or shld i juz wait and wait.i dunno..maybe i was too nice to her last time,and she got away.and now i'm more strict,she's still running away.i guess..we're not gd pals anymore huh.so easily destroyed.and yet,so..i dunno.somehow..almost everything is startin to hurt me.ALMOST.i feel so useless..hai~i'm realli at lost of wad to do.things change as time flies past us.its so quick tt we bearly noe,its almost over.tml i'm gonna get my results.i realli hope i pass wif flyin colours.i juz hope i get 60 smth.hai~but i guess...hai~i realli dunno.i'm at total lost now.


-word power
-crapped wif xinyi
-smth happened which realli upset me.
-saw ting tong man
-saw shut up man
-saw sushi on floor
hahaha!!!!!!
=Xx


went pyscho yesterday while chillin wif the members.haha.hey,i was hungry.anyway,friday's cgm was realli gd.i cried and stuff.not much of cryin lah..but well,tears juz filled my eyes.and before tt i was trapped at kallang.went to leisure park to chill wif yee wui and gang but who would have thought they were heartless creeps.not discriminatin them or wadeva but..
me:i gtg liao..eh,can some1 pei wo go out there or not.later i lost then dunno liao..haha
gang:-quiet-
me:...yee wui,can go wif me?
yee wui:huh?dun wan lah
and so on and so forth.this is not the onli thing lah but wad the heck.i guess its my fault too lah.i dunno.

and i have no idea how to approach spike.he's in his sk8er world and me..i'm in my crappified world.arR man,dunno whether he still into sa tan and bla.hai~i guess after friday,i've learn to be more cheerful and sociable..and in way lah.i'm kinda quiet and abit anti-social at times but i changed abit lah.haha.i dunno.anyway,my dark circles are..gettin darker.whoa..wahaha.and i have this urge to get on a sk8board.wahaha.weird.service was realli gd yesterday,except for the fact tt i was alone on the other side of the earth.wahaha.saw zhuo hwa in the mrt yesterday.had fun tokin to her.wahaha.bout food. :D well,went to the arcade wif xinyi and veron yesterday.we were abit mad when we went out of the mrt station.

*sigh*am i fallin back to my old ways?oh and word power is this tuesday.HELP!40 verses..i cannot!*protests*i have short term memory!!..aiE~


wow..i think blogger took a makeover or smth.haha.anyway,exams exams.i'm gonna die of it.and i'm realli gonna fail my maths paper wif flying colours.yes,fail.not pass.i hardly eva pass my maths.even if i do,its marginal(correct spellin?)..or shld i say,borderline.*sigh*and i heard lost prophets on radio last nite.*gasps*call mi evil or wadeva,but i prefer them to be 'unpopular' but since they alredi are..sad lah.haha.yes yes,i'm mean.go on,i noe u wanna say it.anyway,yesterday went to study wif my cousin.learn loads of stuff from her.then i went to hlm to buy a mug for my father.(his birthday yesterday!)and today..freakin fishballs!it was raining.it was indeed coolin but eh,got caught in the rain and embarrassed myself most of the time.damn..

i accept everyone.but does everyone accept me?u do have alot of frenz.and plz,i won't 'boycott' u.ur one of the ppl i trust most.


i'm am utterly confused.i shudder at every thought of it.haha..its up to them..its up to them.no matter how much fuss they kick up,no matter wad happens to them,there's ppl who go to their tagboard and tag.give them a call or lend them a listenin ear.at least there is some1 doin smth to help/show care and concern to them.for me...no matter wad happens..there's none.yes,there is xr..but....i dunno lah!!!!!and wad's wif the "how can u tell sis yp bout my probs wifout MY permission?!"juz plainly tt we dunno how the HELL WE'RE SUPPOSE TO HELP U?!HECK,NO MATTER WAD I DO,ITS NOT SEEN IN OTHER PPL'S EYES.THERE'S ONLI FISH.BUT WAD BOUT U GUYS?!I SAY SAY SAY,ADVISE ADVISE ADVISE..HELP HELP HELP...OSO NO USE!!!WHEN U GOT PROB,U COME TO ME,I KEEP QUIET...U SAY THE WHOLE WORLD DUN CARE BOUT U.WHEN I HELP U,ITS ONLI A SMALL THING AND IT CAN'T INSPIRE U TO DO ANYTHING.AND THE COMPLAINS KEEP ROLLIN IN.

WAD DO U WAN ME TO DO?U!!WHEN U GOT PROB,U COME TO ME.FINE,I HELP.BUT WHEN I WANNA SAY SOME 'WORDS OF ADVISE',U CUT IN AND CONTINUE ON AND ON.OK,FINE..I WANNA SAY..CANNOT...Y?COZ GOT UR SENOIRS THERE.WALK PASS U AND "EH,HI!!!*SMILE*"...IF U CAN SMILE MORE WHEN UR WIF UR SENOIRS AND JUNOIRS,THEN GO AHEAD AND BE WIF THEM AND SEEK THEIR ADVISE!!!!U DUN NEED MY FREAKIN HELP FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!AND YOU!!!TIME AND TIME AGAIN U COME TO ME WIF UR PROBS,I HELP..I DUN MIND..I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST U.BUT NO!!U WERE THE ONE WHO DISPLAYED MY NAME ON UR BLOG AND WAD..SAY I'M A HYPOCRITE?!FINE LAH..FINE!!IF U GUYS THINK SO THEN GO AHEAD..DUN GIMME THE HOPE THEN I AM ACCEPTED!!!!!COZ NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SAY,U WON'T THINK MUCH OF IT

SO NO POINT COMIN TO ME WHEN UR GONNA GO TO ANOTHER PERSON TO CONFIDE IN.I'M NOT SAYIN U CAN'T BUT WAD'S THE POINT OF U COMIN TO ME??!?!!SOME OF THE THINGS I SAY,U THINK ITS SMALL.BUT WHEN U GO TO ANOTHER PERSON AND HE OR SHE SAYS THE SAME THING,WOW!!..IT MAKES A BIG IMPACT IN UR LIFE!IRONIC.MAYBE U SEE ME AS GO CRAZY OR SMTH.MAYBE UR RITE.UR ALWAYS RITE,AND I'M WRONG.ITS EITHER U GUYS ACCEPT ME OR STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!I'M GOING CRAZY ALREDI OK?!?I CAN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND U FREAKIN IMPOSTER,U STAND TO GET WAD U WANT.TO SEE ME LIKE THIS,IN ANGUISH.GD FOR U.WAD ELSE DO U WAN TO DO?ITS NO POINT.

__________________________________________________________

Fumbling his confidence
And wond'ring why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments,
And failed attempts to fly, fly

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live





had multiple dreams today.anyway..wad's happenin?!?!YES YES...I DUN CARE LAH!THINK WAD U WANT LAH.FISH IS BOUT TO GO TO ANOTHER GIRL AND NOW THIS.YES YES...MY FAULT LAH!!!ALWAYS IS WAD.I NEVA DO ANYTHING.AND THERE'S THIS STUPID POSER ON MY TAGBOARD INSULTIN ME AND MY FRENZ.FINE..FINE...FINE!!!!!MY FAULT!!!OK!!!MY FAULT!!!!HAPPY!!!WHY CAN'T U GUYS JUZ LET ME OFF FOR ONCE?!?!




aiE~...sounds kinda true though

Introverted (I) 51.52% Extroverted (E) 48.48%
Imaginative (N) 51.61% Realistic (S) 48.39%
Emotional (F) 53.33% Intellectual (T) 46.67%
Easygoing (P) 54.55% Organized (J) 45.45%




feelin betta today.haha.guess i had a major moodswing or smth.hMmZ..nevertheless,my words can't seem to realli go to the inch of touchin ppl's heart.hai~ANYWAY,today had english paper 2.scary sia.and the passage is like wad,always bout black ppl fightin for their rights and stuff.hMmZ..i mean,if u gave us the background then at least we can understand betta..haiyo0..went for bible study today.rushed like hell there to find out i was early.damn.and i nearly got 'banged down' by a car.eh,cars these days dun signal,so how would i noe he was gonna go straight instead of turning.i nearly knocked into some guy in kfc holdin tons of trays.yiEsh~...i veh clumsy today.hRmZ..oh oh..mi and yee wui went mad today and made fun of joanne.real fun man,real fun
yee wui:kenneth!!!
me:joanne!!!
*runs to each other*
*"joanne" falls*
yee wui:aiE~
me:i'll catch u i'll catch u..i promise!
*"joanne" falls unto floor"-bOinG-
haha..ms ang was inviglating today.a bit mad leh tt woman."its alredi 2.25pm and there's onli so few ppl in the class.dun u noe ur gonna start at 2.30pm?!"aiyo0..i mean,ya..but oso no need to shout like siao rite?haha..

enlightened now.hEe~haha..i think i shall go slack first before i study.wahaha..biE ppl


its a long time since i blogged.many things happen ya.i guess now the main issue is $$,studies and frenz.
$$:huiling owes me a total of $79.50 and by the way she gives me her replies,she couldn't give a hoot bout returnin my money.and to make it worse,its not even MY money but my PARENTS.*Sigh*...and i gave $4 to haoren on behalf of xr. shld i rejoice or cry. :|
studies:i'm slackin like shit and my grades are droppin like how ppl fall off buildings. :\ oh well..exams is offcially startin this friday but tml i have a english test.hope i pass wif ultimate flyin colours man..
frenz:our cg is facin many tribulations yet..some of them dun trust in the Lord.some of them 4got bout the Lord and others,i shan't say.we deal wif our probs differently..hRmZ..anyway,xr..buck up k..

*sigh*..i dunno lah.i feel like i'm the boring person.even worse than last time.and the sight of kim irks me :| anyway,shan't talk bout this..

You..you of all ppl,you..u shld noe tt inflictin this upon urself won't get u anywhere.help ease the pain?haha..if it was tt simple than i think i'll have multiple cuts on my hand.aren't u like wad pst kong said,those kinda ppl who are lookin for shortcuts in their life?it was said before tt certain things here on earth we can't deal wif it ourselves but unless wif the Holy Spirit and the Lord helpin us along the way.it doesn't mean tt,oh,He'll come straight from wad he is doin to help YOU.He has to follow His own timetable but He would neva forsake u.i mean,if He were then we shldn't have followed Him.serving the Lord is never an easy task but knowin the blessings that would be showered upon u after ur hardwork,shldn't u go all out?(i dunno wad i'm sayin...)

u have no friends?then look around u.no wait,i think u mean u have no true frenz.am i right?it doesn't matter..i mean,in some ways it does but wad the heck..cherish the close frenz u have ard u.esp those in the cg.u say ppl ignore u.but from wad i see,when ppl tok to u..u either:
1)walk away wifout replyin
2)reply for a while then walk away
i dunno...tt's wad other ppl told me too.and i'm not,based on wad they say,going against u.i dun favour anybody.i juz want u to noe tt ppl want to talk to u,get to noe u.but would u allow them?would u allow God to reach into ur heart and touch it so tremendously tt u'll neva eva noe the meaning of hurt?look ard u and look ar urself..then say wad u wanna say..

we are helpin u..are u gonna see it as casual help frm 'distant' frenz or help from ppl who realli cares for u? i hope i'm not addin fuel to the fire(obviously i am) but maybe God doesn't want u to look for the ans in the bible,nor in Him(wad crap) but rather in the things ard u tt He has blessed u wif.like i said before,life is like an exam/test.but God can't help us all the time..but rather,we have to help ourselves.well...at least tt's wad i think.its up to u to decide.but i really hope u'll stop hurtin urself.yes,i feel the pain,but not because i'm guilty of anything but i dun wanna see my brother(in christ)doin this to himself.i did it before,yes,i admit..but i got out of it.coz everytime i look at my wrist wif the scars,i realised,i'm not hurtin myself but instead,hurtin Jesus.and i dun realli have a TRUE fren to confide in,yes..there's xinyi,xr and many others but for me to call a true fren,i have 0.

God has indeed blessed me wif so many 'true' frenz;frenz tt dun discriminate u coz u look,walk and talk funny.but sometimes,to me lah,i think tt the onli true fren i have is realli Christ.coz onli He knows my deepest and darkest secrets,my thoughts,my feelings...everybody is a fren to me.even a stranger..(ironic)but,i can't realli count them as a true,blue fren...i dunno..tt's wad i think..i shan't talk bout this anymore..i dunno..i'm feeling stressed out and hai~..i dunno...


the more i think..the more i notice and see tt..no matter how much i help others...it doesn't realli matter at all.hRmZ..tt's how i see it lah.i mean,i'm not as kind and bla as wenzi but...AH..nvm..inferiorty sets in again..*sigh*


toked to sis yp on the phone yesterday.felt kinda enlighten coz i let alot of things out of my heart.so ya..kinda comfortin.one thing i learnt is tt when the same prob keeps 'comin back',the prob is not tt but YOU urself.and,ppl,have faith in the Lord ya?coz there are many things here on earth tt we ourselves cannot do wifout the Holy Spirit and the Lord guidin us.anyway,i'm havin cramps..aiE~~~

edify:To instruct especially so as to encourage intellectual, moral, or spiritual improvement.(i'm learning english..wahaha)

inferiorty always sets in for me.why?coz i'm blur,dumb,retard..etc etc..juz ask haikal.juz ask pavan.juz ask about any1 in the world.yes yes,"i have always been here for u"but u noe wad?u ppl comfort me and stuff.but when things dun turn out the way U like it,i'm a bitch.i'm irritatin.i'm screwed.fine.fine.hypocrites.i'm serious.no wait,maybe i'm juz havin moodswings...

Oh ya. I duno wad's wrong wid Adel.. But I'll owaes b dere. Jus gimme a ring or a msg or wdv.. Thou I nort tt close 2 u, hope u can share ur probs wid me nor.

i'll let everybody noe..once and for all.i dun usually open up to ppl.i keep it to myself.maybe tt's why i feel depressed.*sigh*...i'll talk more bout it tml..

Hey
I'm Adelene. You already know me, so there's no need for introductions (:

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