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Wednesday, November 30, 2005
:: drawnTOWARDS Girls are complicated. (if you were wondering, YES, i am a girl.) what am i saying?? anyways, you hear beautiful girls saying they are fugly and fat. which kinda makes all the other girls look bad. or maybe its just me lah. and then you have beauty contest winners so say their winnning speech. "i don't really find myself beautiful".."i believe that a girl is beautiful when she knows how to carry herself well and have confidence in who she is. beauty comes from within. *gleams" right..but from what i see, its true to a certain extent. imagine with this chiobu walking down a street and smiled at you(a guy), nosebleed rite? what if a ordinary-looking girl with a BIG heart smiled at you, what would you(yes, ur still the guy) do? actually, i don't really know what i'm typing. heh. but i guess, what girls think varies from each girl. if you're very secure of who you are and whatnot, it won't really stumble you. if you have low self-esteem/not very confident of yourself, you might feel eve more inferior. if you are pretty and still think you're ugly, get a life. i'm sorry if i sound blunt or whatnot but hello! You have great looks and yet you are still unsatisfied with it? *glares hard. i just look like any other plain jane or guai kia or nerd or cookie monster. but i'm trying to embrace the fact that i AM beaauuutiful on the inside(which not many ppl have seen) and no matter how i look, God still loves me for who i am. so girls, embrace the beauty that you have. don't think that you're not as good as er..models or whoever. indeed, we are all beautiful creatures because we are made in GOD'S likeness. ( : but man, who am i talkin to. : sadly, i've lost myself along this run. i get pissed, i shout/scream/cry/*slash slash/silence hmms..emo kid? NAH but i can't do this alone. neither can i do it without God. yet, i still feel lost. table for one, please. edit// i fasted today, together witht the other sound crew members. 6am-6pm. and i didn't have breakfast. phwoar. i have 2 tuition lessons tml and i still have BS. plus, i haven't touch my tuition hmwk yet. can someone please tell me why she and he left me? "leaving you? Maybe you shld stop thinking abt us leaving you and more abt why we left you" PHWOAR!! well, true... he said "i think we both left because of the same reasons" HO? like what? i know YOU left me because i rejected you. and you were filled with hatred. her? i dunno. because i'm a fiend? because i hurt her by calling her names(which i did not even call in the first place). wtf? what man? "go take a look at the mirror... and do some soul-searching" HELLO?! :is it because i'm so dammit busy and could not spare a thought for you guys? or is it because i've been a total asswipe who don't care abt ur feelings? how abt because i'm oblivous to your troubles? what?? what??!!?! ): i feel like a total failure. dammit "No one else sees, but I got stuck And soon forever came Stopped pushing on for just a second Then nothing's changed Who am I this time, where's my name? Guess it crept away" Tuesday, November 29, 2005
:: rendition i'm done i'm tired. tears flow just like the rain. BUT i'm alright. Monday, November 28, 2005
:: LOUDER  no need for elaboration. why am i feeling this way? i dunno. maybe try reading xx's blog. if she is ugly, i'm the above(refer to picture). hmph. but that's not the main point lah. i just feel like crap. and besides, people stay away from crap. so ya, me. and once again you will say "no lah, we're still here. we love you" words aren't anything without action. hello..but who am i to say anything when i don't do that? shame shame adel. shame shame. FYI: for you jokers out there..feeling like crap does NOT mean i wanna go toilet to crap. get that. went to sch for meeting today. headache. makan. home. rest. edmund. gastrics. headache. dinner. now. that's today. supposed to go sentosa with xr today, but wasn't feeling well. sorry babe! oh, and yesterday's HP was fun. ( : i'm not lazy to elaborate on it. so ya. hahaha. but i did spot someone that reminded me of him..*sigh i feel dammit restless. anyways, read her blog. dunno whether she was referring to me or not.. but my guess would be that she's sayin it because of what her parents did..hmms.. Sunday, November 27, 2005
:: Somehow sometimes i just wanna cry sometimes i just wanna smile sometimes i just wanna laugh sometimes i just wanna run away i want acceptance i want boldness i want friends i want openess i want revival i need GOD. i don't wanna give up Lord, i don't but it hurts. it hurts badly. and sometimes, i don't feel worthy enough. what do i have? *frowns do ppl really need me around? "yes yes, yes we do. we love you adel!" right.. i bet you that if i kept quiet and slipped away from the conver/gathering or whatnot, you won't notice a thing.. sad. am i ok you ask? i dunno. i'm tired.. "i'm under your wings, you'll never let me go." Friday, November 25, 2005
:: snowflakes watched HP yesterday at PS with jo and des HOHOHO. its not what i had in mind. it could have been longer than 2.5 hours though but i had a good LAUGH at the DARK LORD. hahahaha. watch it and observe. overall, the movie was alright. the graphics were awesome. the scary parts were funny. and the damn director shldn't cut out so many parts from the movie. but either way, its good lah i guess. (but xiaxue doesn't seem to think so. hahah) so after that, i had tuition with edmund. oh darn man. though he's a smartass in maths and all... him: *drinks water -10mins later- him: is this my cup?*points to cup me: yah..u drank from it just now.. him: huh. oh really? hahah. me: *stares blankly him: hahaha. i thought how come my cup was half filled. oh goodness. and today rocks. my beloved mother ate up the biscuits tiff bought for me in ireland. yes, the whole thing. but thank goodness i ate at least 3 of them ( : but i can't get over it. dammit. MA, don't eat my stuff!! okie, that sounded wrong. hmms so i've been getting weird dreams. -me,in a peranakan family,tracing my roots. and i have a admirer: utt( wtf? utt?! i don't like utt) -murder mystery case in my home -repetitive dreams -simon as johnny bravo dammit. why don't i ever dream of my cat. ): i want dreams of draco(tom felton!), taufik..hahahaha okies. i shall stop now. shall snooze my day away Thursday, November 24, 2005
:: stripesDOWN yesterday was the mega camp gathering/outing. funfunfunfun. i saw anthony at sentosa also. and he works there lah. dammit so anyways, only sarah, cuiyun, charlotte and me went. :everyone spent the time playing volleyball,stoning,swimming,monkey,captain ball and etc etc. instructors were fun lah. hahaha. and i was given a sand bath. me: -holding camera- okies..1,2,3. okies. done. jeremy: OY! no kick one leh! simon&keigo: yah lor! no kick one! jeremy: eh, no kick lah. *kicks sand at ade eh,*points at ade, she sherman's fren! simon&keigo: WAH! *kicks more sand and it got FAR MORE worse than this. but fun lah. hahaha the fun part was when the instructors themselves were playin monkey. and all of them kanna lah.(except ridzwan? :\) and their forfeits dammit funny man. do sexy pole dance, 5 sexy poses, 5pictures of diff ppl, 2 pics with banglas HOHO. it may sound boring lah. but if u were there, its a whole diff story. and i left my hair band in the toilet. : CWBS. OH WOW. it rocks. learnt A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF man. i wanna have mercy. ( : imgaine if u have a dog name mercy: ade: MERCY! SIT! hmms. okies. not funny. anyways, i did stage ALL ALONE. WOOHOO!! God, are u proud of me? ( : oh my. and dan dammit funny lah. hahaha. AND AND PASTOR SMILED AT ME! *faints what happened? i don't wanna disclose. YOU may still be reading, or not. but all i can say is i never, never let my close ones go through mocking without a fight. BUT it might seem not. hmms. empty promises. yay. believe it or not, its all up to you. i'm hurt, definitely. but i know eventually problems like these will arise. doesn't matter. i've cried enough. and i prayed. at least i know the only best friend i have now is God. tsangy: me and her are true best friends. i mean, u know there are ppl who say they have best friends but in the end their not? that's why i say me and her are really best friends. *gleams me: ya, that's why i never say i have best friends. i say i have good friends, because best friends stick with you. -in thought-: but i only have God that stuck with me all the way. why do i say that? one by one, my closest friends leave and the bond weakens. i miss the old crew. truly. ssshhhh He's talking nick: thanks. you better take care too aiight? annoymous, annoymous32: thanks. but it'll do me great pleasure if u told me who u really are. you-know-who: no, not really. you could be anyone. but yea, thanks. delia,des: thanks much. ( : you: girl, you can hate me all you want. but i guess it doesn't matter anymore. i just wonder whether you'll believe what i have to say. take care. Monday, November 21, 2005
:: strike so i'm down. its not like it matters : i'm not gonna say anything in defence not because i'm guilty or whatnot but because it doesn't matter God, i guess i'm gonna get pressed, alot. please, don't leave me aiight? ur the mos precious to me now. please..don't go. i'm just gonna say.. so shoot me again. shoot everyone: i'm not gonna bother u with my crap. its either you know or not. i'm not gonna say nuts. its probably my fault again. so i'll shut. but not this blog. so shoo. scram. i'll probably hurt you. you won't like it. but you'll never know how much i defended the ones i love. :: knotted i saw SLY yesterday at jurong point a pity i didn't take a snap shot of him, BUT well..not worth my memory space anyway. no offence he had 10,000 tatoos all over his body and blonde streaked hair. if i remember correctly, he was wearin a black singlet/tank top or whatever u call it. not to mention, he was wearing sunglasses. HMMS. i wonder what for? anyways, skinny,fair,beng..who would u expect but SLY? and while we(yanling,me,cincin,nick,zhenghao,sam,yvonne,timon,veron and cheryl) caught a glimspe of sly, we were tryin to get the stud stuck in yanling's ear out. CINCIN. WOW!! hahaha. macho lah somebody. ( : it was painful to watch, esp when its yanling. hahahaha oh well. service was just great! pst sun was back, so was mark(*drools) and henry. *rubs hands in glee after that, me and yanling headed back to church. had a good time catchin up. ( : so..after 1 hour or so, i went to roof top for the sound grad. not as many ppl went, but quite fun lah finally saw daniel lee! hahahaha but he went for kidney operation not long ago. :well, he's looking mighty fineand dandy. ( : so, OPM was just awesome! everyone started to kneel down during worship. and i mean, everyone. i was doing STAGE!!!! *jumps around so anyways, SIDNEY TAPPED MY SHOULDER!!! hahahaha. *faints i know lah, but hey..he's a ncie guy. great guitarist, steward and slang. xD on saturday, i helped out for sound(children's church) dammit fun i say. learning more abt the board and all. saw delia,siewling and a sec2 netball girl(sorry! i forgot her name. :\) at cafe. and delia is going for the campus superstar thing. and lyn went alone. WHOA i realised that i've changed. more quiet. more well..BLANK. sound was great and all, but i didn't talk much. fellowshipping too was fun, but i didn't utter a word. randomness- being quiet doesn't mean you have to be ignored nick: HAHAHA. right.. and i know smth else that you don't know. ( : tiffy: BK? HAHA. indeed a sick shit. and i know u hate him. =.= delia: HOHO! how come u have my link? haha. alrighty babe! xD Friday, November 18, 2005
:: iceberg *yawns dammit tired lah. tuition,sch,sound,tuition,sch,sound and round and round it goes :BUT CWBS was good. learnt a lot from it. ( : went out with tiff yesterday went to bluelight to talk and chill and we realised that a few (HOT)malay guys were around, just cleaning the buildings and all to our(or rather,my) surprise, they oogled at us. HAHAHA. but they look dammit young,like 19..20? anyways,we went to cineleisure to get a drink. we spotted a guy from WCG(world cyber games) WOOHOO! ( : ok lah, we didn't bring alot of money. so nth much was done. BUTBUTBUTBUT i saw truckloads of PL girls..and teacher mrs ong, xinyuan,huizhen,some girl from netball etc etc.. and i even spotted des's sister. hahaha we headed to far east's BK. girls who wear MINI-SKIRTS should NEVER walk by the window. trust me. it'll be nice for sick pervs or lesbians or just sick ppl. randomness- i don't think pouting makes you look cuter. *shudders fiz&nick: HAIYO. no war aiight? :\ des: let's get lost in serangoon again. hahaha. Wednesday, November 16, 2005
:: nicerTHANthat i'm SO tired. i have remedial classes since yesterday. but thank God its only for 2 days. so that's one thing done, i still have to get ready for CWBS later. not to mention, i have to help sound for CWBS,OPM and children's church. HMMS sigh..tired... fiz: HAIYO!! can i whack you? =.= bre: i love you too! hahahah ( : nick: ( : right back at ya dude you: i'm sorry...*sighs Monday, November 14, 2005
:: easilyDONE so.. today was rather eventful. i slacked the whole day. was supposedly goin to watch movies with diane and cheryl. CANCELLED. nvm. then weefong called me today. said we'll go watch movies. CANCELLED ALSO. so i just stayed home all day, just decomposing. so shaun "perked" up my day by prank calling me. him: *calls adel me: *ans call hello? him: *silence me: -right..- hello? hello? HELLO? him: *silence me: -sheesh- *hangs up so this carried on for a couple of times. and he wanted me to say "EH! I CALL POLICE ARH!" so i humoured him and TADA, he is entertained. i got more restless after that. hmphh but at least i got my well-deserved rest. TML. oh man..remedial..*faints still thinking of whether to call him or not..hmms.. oh well. this world is complicated. and so is the people. hmms.. screwed. does it mean that if i'm pretty, i get accepted? but i guess its just that my attitude sucks, BIG TIME>. *sigh everyone, esp tiff: i think i've let you guys down. i've just been so busy with things lately that i don't have time for you guys. and i'm really sorry. i know how it feels when u need somebody but he/she is busy. i'm sorry. ): Sunday, November 13, 2005
:: that'sSOyou i'm listenin to this certain song, and it makes me think. think abt my past. what i've been through and what i've yet to go through(i guess) i'm content, yet there's smth inside of me thatt cries out for more. more of everything. the relationships, the pain, the mockings, the struggles, the lost and having the fun, the joy, the love, the warmth, the care, the smiles, HIS love. "i'm so proud of you" then we went to makan at mac. took a taxi down and OMG, service was excellent! i think we only had like what..15 mins of sermon and the rest was more of.. well..i dunno? pastor ulf went with the Holy Spirit's flow. almost everyone knelt down. for me.. i cried out to God. and i cried because He is just so awesome. so after everything, we got ready for the monopoly game. WHOA MAN. my feet hurts. hahaha. but the game was fun lah. SomeoneUknow: alrighty. i'm back already ( : nick: yes yes. i did i did. You: you good. you won. i shall just keep quiet and not bother you. "you're so wonderful, this i swear this i know" Sunday, November 06, 2005
:: what? i'm screwed i'm really sorry will you forgive me? *sigh mega camp starting from tml till thursday. leave me a note here or by email. : bre: i got BAD photos of that moment. u want? x D tiff: how are u babe? i missed you!! ( : des: DON'T TOUCH MY BOY! HE'S MY AFROMAN! ( : nick: i didn't. "i have electronics".. get the drift? "and i'm free, you paid the price" Saturday, November 05, 2005
:: Behold yesterday's class gathering was not what i expected it to be. so yea. not alot of ppl came BUT bre brought her "eye-candy" along which resulted in alot of laughter and *ahem ahem during truth or dare. ( : i wore the same shirt as joanna and i looked pretty much like an auntie who came back from the market. SO anyways, i was quite bored lah. sarah choo came over to join us. and she was drooling over alyssa's brother.. who in fact looks quite alot like a gorilla. serhui said smth insulting abt ariel,and he supppedly didn't hear. hmms.. but it was ok lah. watching ppl fall into the pool,play twister,eat.. OHOH, melissa's oreo cheesecake was the BEST!! *drools so i spent the whole of today just lying on the couch, watchin tv and munching on snacks. hmms.. FYI: i'm quiet now. can you help me be a better person, God? "i'll bring you more than a song, then a song in itself" Friday, November 04, 2005
:: BrandNew its 3.35 now and i shld be on my way to meet lee-yah and gang bre's EYE CANDY is coming. HAHAHAHA ( : i hope i broughty sufficient utencils. went for cca earlier in the morning. and i managed(with shermaine of coz) to get most of the stuff done kudos to me. hahaha. i cried last nite when praying to God let there be revival! please God. i was quite shock when suddenly i got down my knees,crying.. hmms. i guess its not only revival that got me so..well..nvm. TIFFY is back! yayayayay!! ( : and talkin to nick was..interesting. right nick? hahaha oh well..better run now. see ya Thursday, November 03, 2005
:: downfall slacked the whole day thought abt alot of things and him had tuition. makan. came online. was going crazy talkin to des and bre. hahaha. mr bean,vin diesel,jeff corwin,steve irwin..etc... hahahaha Wednesday, November 02, 2005
:: jackpot SELAMAT HARI RAYA!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
: holiday HAPPY DEEPAVALI! so..i'm gonna get ready for the CWBS soon. kinda feeling draggy because of the cramps i'm having dammit. oh wells. i'm gonna see captain victor today, after like what seems to be 10,000 years ( : i miss lee ling, abraham*coughsrudecoughs, ngai kay..and the whole of my sound batch. abraham is in NS now. hohoho but i miss the times lah. hmms..*cries and daniel lee is doing STAGE. i can't get over it. hahaha. oh well. i shall conquer 4th floor! :\ oh,and alicia says she's gonna help me with my maths. ( : which reminds me, i have to return my report book tml dammit darn. was supposed to go out with haikal and hafiz today, to get some shirts but he didn't tell me anything,and i was in great pain. so i didn't bother msging him either. but we talked about alot of stuff last night. hahaha. ssshhh anyhoots, will update tml abt the CWBS i'm sure it's gonna be very enriching and impactful ( : oh and i think guys who are in formal wear look mighty dashing HAHAHAHA. "all alone, on a night train like a stranger on a sinking ship" |